Getting kicked in the nuts (friggen brothers)

jeepsr4ever

Yeah fun stuff there... I come from a large family 2 brothers 3 sisters. I taught my little brothers how to defend themselves and box at a very young age and it was alot of fun. My father used to have us put on the oven mitts and box him when we were young. I must have been 17 at the time I was teaching my brother karate kicks and different stances...he was a wopping 8yrs old. Little shit ...when we were squaring off me on me knees and him standing tall he said ok Joe hit me....he took a fake swing and then drop kicked me right in the nuts...Little bastard...I grabbed the jewels and proceeded to walk outof the house and into the backyard...thought I was going to kill him. Anyone else got a good little brother story or a nut kicking episode like I had?

Lifted79CJ7

1994 - Went on spring break with my two best friends in Panama City, FL. Went to a strip club - I was 18 and another guy (Rob) were 18, our buddy John was 17. We drove around and found a back ass woods strip club that my Johns fake ID would work in. Talk about a dirty scary place! Anywho, Rob was dating this girl really seriously (one of those I love her soo much and we will do anything sexually put penetration - cause that is sex and sex is bad - but she can blow me anytime.....one of those stupid ass relationships kids get in). Anywho, Rob wouldn't tip the dancer on the table and then the girl jsut straight up told him to get his arse up there. We shoved him up there and he cowardly held his hand out as far as possible.

The dancer then grabs the poor bastard by the back of the head and shoves it right in her crotch and starts grinding away. :lo1l: We fall out of our chairs laughing cause all we see are his two little flaling arms swinging all around. Poor little virgin Rob. It was classic... =D>

1995 - Same three guys, same town,,,,bad idea-bring the girlfriends. :razz: So we all get hammered one night and John proceeds to start telling the story of us taking Rob to the Titty bar and how funny it was. So John is fully acting out the whole situation. When it comes to the part of the girl grabbig Rob's head, he grab's his girlfriends head and pushes it at his crotch and starts grinding. Uh yeah....that lasted I would say all of about .025 seconds..... :t: Smooth move ex-lax.

All I see is her arm go fully back as far as it would go, while her hand formed the tightest fist you have ever seen. Uh-oh. So there stands John, thinking he is the funniest 6'5" story teller ever, and then she struck..

WHAM!!!

His face turned three different colors in about 5 seconds and he dropped to his knees. No one said anything. Then he starts coughing.

His face is now not a "Hey, I just got hurt" red. I would like to call more of a "somebody just grabbed my nuts like two hard boiled eggs in a tube sock and decided to cook themslves some lunch in molten lava color red.
:oops:

Poor bastard went in the bathroom and puked for five minutes.

Needless to say, I don't think he got laid that night....

Lifted79CJ7

Here's another one. Not quite as funny, or as long, but it will have to do. I moved in with these two guys back in Octobe, and we never really all drink together that much. The other two usually fight when they get hammered with one another. 🙁: Anywho, I am 6' 170lbs, my roommate Jeff is about 5'10" 270lbs, and Drew is about 5'8" 220lbs.

So Jeff and I come home hammered one night. I don't mean the normal kind of hammered, but the I am really lucky to be able to walk kinda hammered. The I woke up at 4pm the next day and I am still drunk kind. Oh yeah, those are the good ones! :sa:

So we come stumbling in the door from the bar up the street (I love being within walking distance of everything!) and there is Drew pecking away at his on-line games as always. He's been playing games and getting hammered all night also. Anywho, I don't know what happened, but after we thought it was a good idea to rock out the Quater Stack and Drum set for an hour at 3am, we started rough housing.

Well, being the smallest guy in the house, and being EXTREMELY intoxicated, I figured if I was ever gonna hit an almost 300 pound man in the nuts, I might as well do it now. So I gave Jeff (which it is all not fat, that kid has some guns) one of those back of the hand nut taps. :oops: You know the ones. The ones where you don't get hit hard, just qith a quick crack like a whip. :idea:

He drops to the ground at the front door. :smile: Drew and I start laughing our asses off. Maybe I should back up and explain that this is the roommate (Jeff) who will come home drunk and jump on you with his pants around his ankles if you don't go smoke a cigarette with him. And if you are only 170 and he is jumpping over the sofa from behind on your head...well, you get the idea - he had it coming to him.

So there we are cackling our asses off, and without even thinking, I popped Drew in the nuts too. BAM! Down for the count. :!: So there I am laughing my arse off cause I just dropped two rather large fellows and now the are rolling around on the ground in pain.

Well, It then the good angle on my other sholder got my attention....
"TAP, TAP, TAP..... Psssst - Hey Jack, you know in about 2 minutes those two oversized guys are gonna get up and beat your ass, don't ya? Way to go dip sh!t."
:shock:

Crap. Well, I stood there and told them to go ahead and take ther best shot for revenge. I figured that was the most civilized way to settle it. It's just not right to take another man down by the cahones.

So I took mine, and then we just stood there and exchanged punches for about an hour. I must say, I am not a fighter, but I was surprised how good of a slug I could take (that is if I am prepared for it - a sucker punch and I am down for the count!). When it got past the arms and gut and Jeff wanted to start punching each other in the face, I tapped out.

I wish I could marry beer! :wink:

jeepsr4ever

But jack I thought you didnt drink :wink:

wolfe_man

Not exactly a kick in the nuts story but a good one. When my little brother was about 12 we were ridding bikes in an empty lot that had a table-top jump. He started showing off and one time when he landed he lost his footing and landed on the back tire. Now that's bad enough but he has really bad luck, this bike happened to have the cable operated brakes and when he landed the bike was still rolling and it sucked all his "junk" between the tire and cable break assembly. I thought it was funny as hell, the only problem was that it was stuck. I had to help him walk home 2 blocks rolling the front tire on the ground and the rear tire hanging from his nuts so we could get a wrench to take the rear tire off and get him lose. He ended up bursting a nut (Damn thing swelled up so much he couldnt wear pants for a week) Dr. told him he was lucky since he hadnt gone through puberty yet when he did the other nut would adjust for it (and it did, he has the nickname "Plumb" in the airforce now). Figured somebody would get a kick out the story. Have fun.

Lifted79CJ7

=D>